taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
