He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
