I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
