Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
