what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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