I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
