You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
