You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
