Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
