I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dick very happy bro
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
