Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
