I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
