The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
