I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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