Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
