i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
