i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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