We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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