I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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