I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
