You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
