HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
