she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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