if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
this will be a night to untag.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
