it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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