Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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