i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
