it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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