I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
