the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
