capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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