He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
