If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
