I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
