the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
