batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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