What a fucking waste of an outfit
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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