Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
