I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
