I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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