is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This house was built for laser tag.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
