if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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