Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
