You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
