North Korea, Best Korea!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
