So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
