4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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