I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
