Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
