Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
