Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
